Why Fear When Jesus Is On Your Side?

I looked my fear dead in the face. 

This week I had to face a fear that has been haunting me for over six months. As many of you know, in February I was on my way to Bozeman and did not make it there. My car lost control and I ended up in a 20 foot irrigation ditch. Thank God only my car was messed up and not me. Ever since that day I have been afraid to drive Montana Highway 55 alone. I stared my fear in the face on Wednesday. I got my days mixed up and thought I had to be in Three Forks that afternoon, but turns out that is next week. I did not do this for nothing though. I think it was God' s way of helping me overcome something I have been afraid of for so long. I prayed for God to protect me the whole time I was driving. I gripped my steering wheel tighter than ever before. Then I got to thinking what is fear when Jesus is on my side?

This summer I came to the realization that I am a fearful person. If you looked at me you might not see this at first glance because not all my fears are tangible. I am not the girl who scrams when I see a spider, well except that one time there was one on my pillow when I was younger, feel free to ask my mom about that one.  I will be the first one to follow along with a crazy plan. If you want to road trip through the night on little sleep, I am your girl. If you decide to jump off a cliff, I will jump right after. I am not afraid to be a dare devil at all. It took me facing one of my only tangible fears to realize all the fear I have stored inside of me.

When I got home Wednesday I decided I needed to look all my cooped up fear in the face and begin to deal with it once and for all. I opened my Bible to see what God said about fear. I found so many verses and came to the conclusion that fear is not of God. He wants to protect us when fear creeps in. I also came to the conclusion that fear is something from satan to keep us from reaching the full potential God has for us. Peace is the opposite of fear, peace comes from God.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

John 15:8

After digging deep into what God says about fear, I prayed asking him to cover all my fear. My prayer went like this...

God, 

Today you gave me courage to face my fears of driving that road. Thank you so much for that. Through that you showed me I am a very fearful person. I fear rejection, disappointing others, and not being to do what you have called me to do. God, this is me laying that down. I TRUST you, I know you have gone before me. I love you Jesus.

In Your Name, 

Amen

In the past I have wrestled with fear so much that it has turned into anxiety. I fear not being good enough, conflict, not being liked, financial problems, not having above a 3.0 GPA, the way people see me, and more. I struggle with feeling inadequate. About a year ago, at nineteen years old I found myself struggling with fear and anxiety so much it began to control me. It became something I wrestled with everyday. Soon it turned into anxiety and I didn't think anything good anyone said about me serious. I would beat myself up because I did not think I was worthy. I wanted to be, but I was also scared people were lying about the good things they saw in me. I did not understand why someone would want to be my friend or even be in the same room as me. I got my first bad grade right before Thanksgiving break and almost did not go home because I thought for sure I had lost all the love my family could have for me. Other days I would loose all love for myself and just cry. I couldn't love myself or let myself be loved, but I feared what would happen if I did not give others all my love. I thought I had made too many mistakes that God could not use me. All these struggles and battles I was fighting came from fear. 

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

1 John 4:18

Since laying my fear down at the feet of Jesus I am filled with so much more peace and feel like I can fully live in HIS love. There is nothing I can do or say to make Jesus love me any less. HE takes all my fear away. 

I do not know where you are or if you are wrestling with fear. Maybe you are dealing with feeling inadequate and less than. Trust that Jesus has you where HE wants you. HIS love can wash away all fear. 

P.S  No Matter what, I want to encourage, be an accountability partner to you, pray, and befriend you. I am on social media as @406_jourd on Instagram and @jourdynMack101 on Twitter, give me a follow and feel free to DM me anytime. If you ever need prayer or someone to talk to email me, jourdynpuppies@gmail.com, don't laugh it is from fourth grade and I stuck with it. 

P.P.S Want to see more encouraging posts? I used to write for Odyssey Online, so if you want to see more check out the link below.